Also, a prelude. Before this "bloject" started I had had I date about two days before, so I didn't count it (rules are rules, even if we don't seem to be able to follow them, we're all trying). Anyway, I met him at a speed dating event (same one where I met "the intellectual"). He is pretty cute, and seems smart. British as well. I like British men generally. They tend to treat women very well. Has a new job that requires him to work a LOT. Anyway, we had various things in common so we "picked" each other at the speed dating event. For our date he invited me to little bar near nyu. Nice, been there before...a little small, and a little open. Bought me a glass of wine (ah, classy!) and then since the space was a little open we headed to a more "posh" place down the street. There I had two glasses of chardonnay and we shared a bunch of tasty appetizers (I hadn't eaten, he paid). We talked and I actually succumbed to doing something I've never really done before: gotten purposefully drunk so that I could just talk and not think about things much, you know grease the social wheels. I have always thought this was a detestable thing to do, but I was feeling sad about my recent ex and thought, I better just make this a little easier on myself.
Anyhow, it worked. I even tried "flirting". I can really easily flirt with people I like, but usually I get to know them and THEN I flirt. But when you're "dating" you kind of have to throw in some flirt-moves without being sure if you're actually really attracted to the person. Anyway, that worked, too. Like I said, he's pretty cute, so it wasn't hard, it's just that I really am attracted to personality more than looks (with one serious exception: my Evil Ex, a story for another time). The conversation was not bad and he asked me a lot about myself and what I did and what I was interested in. Fascinatingly, his father is a major player in my field of study, so he's kind of higher-education royalty. Interestingly again, he has entirely revolted against his liberal, doctorate-toting, book-publishing father and gone entirely in the other direction, except I think he's still pretty liberal (phew).
A few things were sort of red flags. I'm trying to take note of these things early because I have noticed that when I break up with someone it often is for some reason that I could have easily discerned early on. So here is the red flag list:
1) he said he was lazy. Now, is this posturing, trying to seem cool, or is he actually lazy? Laziness is not a good quality.
2) he detests england. who detests england?!
3) he mentioned his ex about 3 times. apologized for it, but.....
4) he mentioned that he was well-off and had a nice apt central manhattan. is this just stating the facts and trying to get me to like him and he's a bit insecure OR is he arrogant? Arrogance is a TERRIBLE quality.
Okay, that's it.
On the white flag list:
1) cute
2) nice
3) gentlemanly (walked me to subway, paid for food)
4) reads a lot
5) seems all-around good. as midtown girl said (she met him at the speed dating event): "I think he's a catch!" possibly.
Soooo, long story short, he emailed after the date saying that he went to an art show that I had recommended and he liked it and then we could see each other or not. my choice. Um, strange...didn't know what to do with that, so I said, "we can do something if you'd like" then he went away, I was busy, he was busy, I went away, but we exchanged some emails and yesterday he said he really wants to do something, but probably not this week because he is, well, busy. I actually believe him because he job is at a startup company and also he really could have dropped the whole things by now. No need for endless emails...boring. SO, the summation of this story is that I will definitely go out with him again IF we can both manage to find time. Maybe midtown girl is right!
OH! and I left out a HORRIBLY embarrassing part of the date! I don't really want to admit this, but it's so totally insane that I might as well. It's very "seventeen magazine", you know, the section where people tell embarrassing things that have happened. Please don't think less of me, for relaying this...it's all for the sake of honesty. Okay, here goes: So, I'm pretty darn tipsy and I venture out to the loo. I begin to, well, pee (I don't sit, I'm a squatter) and I'm sort of thinking, it's not making any noise and so I continue, and continue. And then, I'm done. So I stand up and begin to pull up my underwear and somehow *all of the pee* is in my underwear, like a water balloon! and it dumps all over the floor and my shoes in a giant splash. I DID NOT KNOW it was even POSSIBLE for underwear to function in such a manner, it's not like I was wearing rubber undies! They were a nylon/cotton blend! anyway, I was in there for a good 20 minutes washing my shoes out and my legs and trying to dry my unmentionables. seriously. this actually happened.
ReplyDelete