Was depressed there for a while over my soon-to-be-married evil ex, but really I should just feel bad for her. Except I can't quite. Such is unfortunately how the heart works. I shouldn't love him but I still kind of do. We were a good match, although my mother thinks we were a good match because he's manipulative and knows how to ingratiate himself to people and give them what they want.
Still...
I went on the date with the doctor. It was fine, we met at a sports bar (not my kind of thing) and had a fine talk for an hour, but I just wasn't attracted to him and all. I tried, but he kept leaning in and touching my on the shoulder and he had his legs spread really wide, which I think is kind of a gross unconscious sexual aggressiveness. I kept moving my chair back. Anyway, when I went to say "thanks!" and give him a hug before getting in the taxi, I went for the side kiss, but somehow we kissed on the lips and that's when I decided I was quite sure I didn't want to go out with him again in that I wanted to get some mouth-hand sanitizer and make rub in on my lips to make sure I didn't get a cold by accident by kissing some guy I didn't want to. When you are thinking about catching a cold instead of how amazing your kiss was---that's a bad sign. So I emailed him and said that I thought we didn't have chemistry because he emailed me twice after that and I had started to feel anxious, like it was a problem I had to solve. Sometimes I worry that by being nice and polite guys think that I like them, but I think having manners doesn't mean you are interested in someone, it means you were raised properly.
Anyway, I ALSO went to a dating event and it was truly heinous, as all meat markets are. But I walked right up and introduced myself to people, otherwise I get stuck talking to guys I don't want to talk to and then am too polite to extricate myself from. So, I took matters into my own hands. And it sort-of kind-of paid off as Apple Juice and I got invited to a dinner party. We're psyched! With brits. I love british men. They are polite, have EXCELLENT social skills, and usually pretty good looking, sound fantastic when they talk, and know how to treat women. They also do not like skinny girls, which I love! Pass me that plate of pasta! One of the guys I was talking to I asked "okay, so who do you think is cute here?" and he said, "okay, follow my thumb" and he was pointing to this girl who was, by new york standards, overweight (by rest of the US standard's just a little bit overweight). He said "I think she has a really pretty face." WOW! I wonder why I don't move to Britain right now. I should point out that this dating event was also not always successful...one guy I introduced myself to said "Um, I have to go talk to my friends. Maybe I'll come back." hmm. I could have been discouraged, but why would I want to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to me?
I also had a pseudo-not-date last night with an artist who looks strikingly like my evil ex, but hopefully without the predisposition toward anger. We had fun, but I don't think it will go anywhere. We'll see! More fun that my other dates recently!
how's everyone else doing out there?
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